A Wish For More

I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don’t care back.

I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I’ve learned that it’s not what you have in your life, but who you have in your life that counts.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t compare yourself to the best others can do.

I’ve learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I’ve learned that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I’ve learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I’ve learned that you can keep going long after you can’t.

I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel. That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I’ve learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done regardless of the consequences.

I’ve learned that money is a lousy way to keep score.

I’ve learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I’ve learned that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

I’ve learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

I’ve learned that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed you.

I’ve learned that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I’ve learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

I’ve learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

All the faces that we fake
And all the lies that we create,
We are the result of what we choose to do.

Nothing ever comes for free,
Defines who we’re gonna be,
Every single move you take,
Another big mistake at stake.

Don’t blame anybody else,
It is all just in your hands,
You’re responsible for what you say and do.

You’re in charge of your own good,
If you don’t control your attitude,
It will end up controlling you.

But there gotta be something more,
But there’s nothing I can tell for sure,
How the fuck am I supposed to know,
It’s not my fault.

I could cry,
Right now,
Just so,
You know.

Laughing with tears in my eyes,
Closing my mind,
My pride,
Oh please,
Take me down with you.

Move on, I say,
Because if you don’t,
You will decay,
Did no one tell you man needs change.

Move on, I say,
Let go of the past,
Make your way,
Find this future you can’t find here.

Move on, I say,
When really,
I want you to stay,
I want to freeze this moment for eternity.

I wish I knew what to wish for,
I wish I wanted something less than more,
I would do everything,
But nothing is ever enough.

I’m dying,
But you can’t see,
It’s on the inside,
The little spot that’s left of me,
I thought it was stronger,
I thought I could go on,
But why, what for?
I guess I was wrong.

You can’t even imagine how much I wish you were here.

I feel the weight of my past push me down,
Almost immobilizing me,
It’s hard to breathe,
I can’t think straight.

Get up, now! I tell myself.

Time to put on the daily façade.
Time to go out and show I’m not sad.
Show off how strong I am.
Show off how everything’s just great.

I’m still sitting.

It gets harder every day,
But I like how it distracts my thoughts,
From circling around these same things,
Again and again and again.

Fuck this.

This bitter feeling is emerging.
It’s become stronger these past few weeks.
I can feel it boiling under the surface.
So much energy, so much power.

FUCK THIS.

It’s scary how much pressure there is.
I really want to let it all out.
But I’m afraid of what will happen.
So much anger and so much hate.

I’m getting up.

I take away just enough to make it,
Before I bury it deep down inside,
Where no one will ever see it,
Hopefully not even myself.

I’m ready.

I sense its shadow growing.
Emerging from the depths of my soul.
So dark you can’t even imagine.
So evil and there’s no going back.

Just wait.

All I want is everything,
Is that already too much,
I will change this world,
One way or another.

It seems like ages since I last heard your voice,
But I can still listen to the echoes,
My ears have never grasped a sound more divine.

The wind took away your smell long ago,
But I’m sure I can still sense the remains,
And they are lingering in my mind.

Has your skin ever touched mine,
Or is it just wishful thinking,
The shivers that crawl down my spine.

Du würdest es eh nicht verstehen,
Wie auch wenn es halt nicht geht,
Und doch sitz ich hier,
Und es ist.

Alles was ich will,
Es verzehrt mich und es bleibt,
Es ist so einfach und doch so schwer,
Wieso geb ich es nicht auf.

Was soll das alles,
Wie ist es passiert,
Schon wieder,
Und ich werd es wohl nie lernen.

My heart thanks you for this bright time,
But now I have to go,
Jump back into the dark at last.

In the end it’s all in your hands,
Because all I’ve given,
Doesn’t change a thing,
If you don’t dare living.

Just one last kiss to show me what I long for isn’t there,
And when I look at you the fire in my eyes will disappear.

I’ve been trying I did all I could,
And if I could do more I would,
But there is just nothing left.

All the words have been spoken,
The unspoken has been thought,
Thoughts are vibrating in my mind,
My head is about to explode.

I’m trembling with rage and my anger boils,
I’m so sick of everthing and everyone.

I wish I could kick you in the face with my indifference!
Cry out loud about how much I fucking care!

But I’m busy unravelling my twisted mind,
Though the order doesn’t make any fucking sense.

Just look at my damned happy face!
Is that what it looks like when you’re at the bottom?!

I’ll fuck up your mind to feel better,
But it makes me feel worse.

What the fuck are you looking at?!
And why the fuck are you even talking to me?!

Is it so unbelievable that I can’t even get it myself,
Yet I know what I do and why and why I help,
And I’m proud and I’m just me and that’s my spell.

Was it put in my mind by a higher power somewhere,
Why can’t I see others, why am I the only one here,
Acting against my own sake is sometimes hard to bear.

Will it all bounce back to me some day,
Wouldn’t that make all my actions vain,
Taking away from those that took,
What I gave with nothing to expect.

Is there this holy balance where some way,
I won’t be dying alone and in pain,
Like all these stories in a book,
Where all I keep craving for I get.

In the end, we’re all alone,
Circling each other endlessly,
Day for day, trapped in our past,
Lasting for what we can never reach,
Our own worst enemies,
The thieves of our own dreams,
Prisoners of our own conception,
Forced upon us by all our lies.

I’m a mirror of the world around
everything but nothing more

How much truth is left in a face.
How much honesty is still to be found.
Can you still hope for salvation.
Can you still fall in love.

Everything like a plain lie.
Your moves, your face,
Your mouth, your words,
But your eyes scream so loud.

Those sad eyes.
Lying there like the center of everything.
Sparkling with hurt.
There has been a human behind them.
Is it still somewhere to be found.

Like a flood aching to be released.
Like the whole world is hiding behind your eyes.
Like everything I ever knew is there.
But why is it dying.

All that time you took away,
Wasted forever in my life,
All that time until today,
Left nothing of my strife.

My heart can’t support this pain no more,
It kills itself with the feelings along,
Emptiness is filling the void inside,
As my integrity is falling apart.

And when I look,
To the moon and stars,
I remember there will never be,
Another one.

In my life,
There’s no place for you,
There’s no room for anyone,
Since she left me.

And when I think about you,
I feel asphyxiated,
I want to change the things the way they are,
But can’t move on.

In my life,
There’s no place for you,
There’s no room for anyone,
Since she left me.

They say the first time,
Is the only time,
Where you can open yourself,
To the point.

Was there a path I missed,
Was there a chance that slipped me by,
Was there a sign I didn’t see,
What did go wrong and why?

And I go to bed at night,
It’s still empty on the other side,
It tears apart my heart,
Craving for so much more.

Sometimes I really feel like there is someone missing in my life,
And I know it is you.

I don’t know much about you,
And I don’t really know why,
But what I know I know,
What I know I don’t need to justify.

Sometimes I really feel alone and there’s nowhere I can go,
Other than my thoughts.

Sometimes I really feel so down and no one’s gonna know,
Other than my rhymes.

I don’t know much about you,
And I don’t really know why,
But what I know I know,
For what I know I need no alibi.

Sometimes I really wish that I had no feelings left in me,
But I remember old times.

Sometimes I really wish I was gone and nothing left to cry,
But my inside just won’t die.

And you lay next to me every night,
And you looked right into my eyes,
You told me that it has all been fake,
Well I’m still sure that it was fate.

Am I a fool?
Are you so numb?
Are you so cruel?
Am I so dumb?

No one will ever see you the way I saw you,
No one will ever be what I was for you,
No one will ever know you the way I do,
And you know it was right.

And you told me that you missed me,
And you told me that I wasn’t there,
Well it’s kinda hard to find you,
When you are the one who is elsewhere.

Am I so dumb?
Are you so cruel?
Are you so numb?
Am I a fool?

What’s life all about,
Can’t feel anymore,
It’s all your fault though,
For giving me.

Hope.

Day in day out,
I see your face in my thoughts,
Trying to hold on,
But the fake love is.

Gone.

Fuck off and leave me alone,
Don’t need this shit anymore.
Just fuck off and leave me alone,
I don’t need this shit anymore.

I sit here outside,
A sunshine I can’t deny,
But deep down inside,
I will never find this.

Light.

What I wish for.

And still I wish I’d come around,
And still I hope there is more about,
And though I know there is no more doubt,
I can’t find the way to get out.

It’s been like a light in my heart,
A bright way out of the dark,
But with those things in my way,
Can’t find the means how to say.

A wish for more.

I recall it’s been just yesterday,
When I last crossed your way,
For a second I felt so close to you,
But again there was nothing I could do,
There is so much empty space everyhwere,
We cannot bridge despite of our despair,
And at the end ways just cross anyway,
Cause in the end we’re all alone day for day,
All alone, all alone.

Everything is just passing me by,
As things take their turn,
As people make their moves,
Everything is just passing me by.

I never chose to be what I am,
But I chose what’s to be next,
What’s going to happen, I don’t know,
But what is not, I know for sure.

Everything is just passing me by,
As things take their turn,
As people make their moves,
Everything is just passing me by.

As matters take up speed,
The urge to make a break rises,
What’s going to happen, I will see,
Though the when is only up to me.

Everything is just passing me by,
As things take their turn,
As people make their moves,
Everything is just passing me by.

Was mögen sie mir wohl noch nehmen,
Ist überhaupt noch was geblieben,
Zum Leben,
Zum Lieben.

Zum Fassen einst so nah gewesen,
Verflucht seid ihr, Träume,
Flüchtige Wesen,
Ich versäume.

Beyond all bearing,
Beyond all imagination,
Beyond you,
Even beyond you,
Don’t touch me, you’ll be frozen,
You will be shattered alive,
A thousand pieces of your mind.

You want one last chance?
Just one more chance?
Why should I? Fine.

Not enough,
It’s simply not enough.

Watching time fly by,
Thoughts all inside,
But what’s this.

You want one last chance?
Just one more chance?
Why should I? Fine.

Not enough,
It’s simply not enough.

Given all this time,
But really, I don’t mind,
But what’s this.

You want one last chance?
Just one more chance?
Why should I? Fine.

Not enough,
It’s simply not enough.

I like circles, they don’t have edges,
And you just turn round and round.

I kinda like circles, they don’t have edges,
But you always turn round and round.

I don’t like circles, even though they don’t have edges,
You always just turn round and round.

I dislike circles, they may not have edges,
But all you do is turn round and round.

I hate circles, but I still don’t like edges,
So I will just turn round and round.

Though I want it to stay,
Because it’s so much easier to find the way,
But I don’t know if it’s okay,
Don’t know what is right,
Again.

But I know I won’t change my mind,
I’ve always stuck to feelings of this kind,
Ever have I watched the thorns unwind,
And not once did I look back,
Again.

In the end all will be in vain,
But the price I pay is also my gain,
And my soul is used to the pain,
So lend me your blessing,
Again.

You will be incinerated,
Burnt to death by those sweet lies,
You will be mesmerized,
Don’t let your heart fall for the temptation.
You will be deflegrated,
You’re not meant to support those cries,
You will be discreated,
It’s too much for your mind to take.

Tell me, is this my road to satisfaction,
Say, do I need the action for reaction,
Creating my own sadness for what sake,
Is it my fate?

Tell me, is there light at the end of this journey,
Say, will I no longer be lonely,
Forcing my own way for what sake,
Is it my fate?

Tell me, is it what I crave for,
Tell me, is it what I seek,
Tell me, is it what I hope for,
Tell me, is it what I need,
To live.

Say, is it my peace of mind,
Say, is it my own path,
And is it meant to be gone,
Or will I collapse on the way alone?

Everyone has gone and carried on,
Am I the only one left behind,
Am I stuck in time?

A complete fool for the way I feel,
When did I leave my sense behind,
Did I lose my mind?

I don’t have any hard feelings on you,
I just thought you might wanna know,
I’m sitting here alone,
Thinking about you.

Carrying on,
Day by day,
Can’t get you out of my head,
But I don’t mind.

I kinda feel sad,
I kinda feel high,
I just let it slip,
Let me drive and be free.

I’m high,
I’m sick,
I’m frightened,
I don’t know.

I’m gone,
I’m lost,
I’m still here,
I don’t know.

I live,
I breathe,
I freak out,
I don’t know.

I laugh,
I cry,
I’m alone,
I don’t know.